A man’s wife discovered that he frequently sets calendar reminders on his phone to prompt him to ask her about important events in her life. She found it odd, so he wrote to the internet to gather opinions.
The Man Explained the Situation
He said, “My wife has always been really good about staying aware of things happening in my life that I care about and periodically checking in with me to see how they’re going.”
He is Sometimes Self-Centered
He described himself as self-centered, saying that showing her the same consideration does not always come naturally. He added, “I wish that wasn’t the case but in retrospect a lot of bad behavior on my part was not corrected and even enabled when I was young. By the time I realized this character flaw I was already well into adulthood and I have found that old habits die hard.”
He Often Forgets His Wife’s Important Events
The husband does sometimes remember the things going on in his wife’s life such as a big meeting at work, or her aunt’s surgery, and he asks about these things over dinner. However, he explained, “More often than not I am proud to admit I get lost in my stuff and forget about hers.”
He Set Reminders on His Phone
A couple of years ago, he began setting reminders in his phone calendar so that he wouldn’t forget to ask his wife questions about things going on in her life. He added, “Needless to say I did not tell her I was doing this.”
The System Worked Well
The calendar reminders worked well for him and he made sure to check in with his wife frequently. He explained, “Often I don’t even need the reminder – just creating it helps the event stick in my active memory.”
She Discovered His Reminders
One night, they were looking at something on his phone and his calendar notification popped up, reminding him of his wife’s dental procedure later that week. She was surprised by this and ended up explaining everything to her.
His Wife Thought it Was Strange
He explained, “She definitely found it weird and off-putting that I would need a system like that when she doesn’t and nobody else does”. His wife felt that her husband needing the reminders meant that he didn’t care about her and was only pretending to be concerned with things going on in her life.
He Was Unsure of His Opinion
He said “I kind of agree with her. It never felt like a deep dark secret, but on the other hand there’s obviously a reason I never told her or anyone else I was doing it. Still, taking action to make sure I show consideration and concern for stuff that matters to her has to be better than continuing to forget, right?”
Is He in the Wrong?
Is he wrong to need calendar reminders to check in with his wife? Was it wrong to keep it a secret?
He Turned to the Internet for Guidance
Many users supported his actions. Someone commented, “I think it’s really sweet that you took the steps to help your wife feel valued. I’d sit your wife down and let her know that this has helped you engage with her more.”
One Person Offered Advice
“Telling her that you wanted to make sure to remember the important events in her life is sweet, whereas telling her you wanted to remember to ask about the important events in her life feels a bit odd.”
Someone Gave Their Opinion
“Honestly, I get why the wife was surprised and even felt a bit weird about it at first. I think I would feel the same way and it would probably take a day or so to feel normal about it. But I would hope when that wears off she sees it as what it is.”
Another Shared Their Thoughts
“I’m just going on a theory here, but you were probably told that you were self-centered when you were a kid, because you couldn’t remember things. With your reminder system, it sounds to me like you’re neurodivergent and that someone mislabeled you in your childhood.”
MORE FROM SMART GAMING LAB – HE INSTALLED A LOCK ON HIS DAUGHTERS BEDROOM DOOR AFTER FINDING OUT WHAT HIS NIECES WERE DOING BEHIND HIS BACK, AND NOW HIS WIFE SAYS HE WENT TOO FAR
A man recently asked for advice on whether or not he was wrong for installing a lock on his daughter’s bedroom door. His nieces living at his house were helping themselves to his daughter’s belongings without her permission.
SHE WOULDN’T STOP PETTING HIS SERVICE DOG SO HE CALLED THE POLICE AND GOT HER ARRESTED
An autistic person training their border collie as a service dog encounters a confrontational Karen and her daughter on a train, leading to escalating tensions and the eventual involvement of the police.
A WOMAN REACHES BREAKING POINT WITH HER SISTER IN LAW WHO ALWAYS EXPECTS HER TO PAY THE BILL, SHE DECIDES ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND TEACHES HER A LESSON
A woman’s sister-in-law expects her to pay for their meals out together and always pretends to forget her wallet. So the woman devised a cunning plan the next time they were at a restaurant.
A WOMAN GAVE FREE LIFTS TO HER COWORKER, BUT WHEN SHE NEEDED ONE THE COWORKERS BOYFRIEND BEHAVED UNREASONABLY, HER ONLY OPTION WAS TO RESPOND IN KIND
A woman gave her coworker free lifts for over a year, and when her car was in the shop she asked her co-worker if she could get a lift with her and her boyfriend into work. She was shocked by their response.
HORRIBLE TEACHER WHO ACCUSES STUDENT OF WRONGDOING FORCES HIM TO FEED A SNAKE AS PUNISHMENT, HE TURNS THE TABLES AND TEACHES HER A LESSON INSTEAD
A woman tells the story of a hated teacher who made students do unpleasant chores. But after falsely accusing her son’s friend, he creatively seeks revenge.
Images are for illustrative purposes only