Sarah, a stepmother to two children from her husband’s previous marriage, is faced with a difficult decision when her stepson asks for a family heirloom engagement ring despite years of disrespectful behavior towards her. Here is what she had to say:
Happy Marriage
Sarah had been married to Bill for the past twenty years. Bill had two children from his previous marriage, Jim and Paige, and they also had one biological child together, Harry. Jim and Paige’s mom had passed away when they were aged nine and five.
She Wasn’t a Motherly Replacement
Sarah met Bill around two years after his former wife had died, and when she started building a relationship with the kids, she made it clear that she was not going to replace their mom and would be a trusted figure whom they could approach if they ever needed her.
Like Her Own Child
Sarah still made an effort to treat the kids like she would her own child. She would take them to school, pick them up, take them to doctor’s appointments, make their lunches, ask her parents to get them presents for Christmas and birthdays, and more.
Paige Liked Her
Paige eventually warmed up to Sarah and saw her as a trusted confidant and maternal figure. She didn’t ask Sarah nor did Sarah expect her to want her to adopt her, but Paige still calls her mom, which Sarah appreciates.
Misogynistic Remarks
Jim, on the other hand, continued to be mean and hostile towards Sarah. Sarah had never treated him poorly or antagonized him, but he would make misogynistic statements like “it’s your job as the woman to clean the dishes” when Sarah would ask him to clean his plate or call her a bad word when her back was turned.
Family Therapy
Bill told Jim many times that the way he was treating Sarah was uncalled for and Bill wanted them to go to family therapy, but Jim always refused. He eventually moved out after reaching adulthood. He continues to maintain contact with his father and siblings, but contact is minimal between him and Sarah, and even then, he doesn’t treat her well.
Family Heirloom
Now, Sarah has an engagement ring that has been a family heirloom for several generations. It is passed down from the mother to the oldest child. Bill got the ring from Sarah’s mom to propose to her. Sarah told all three children about this heirloom a few years ago.
He Wants the Ring
Jim currently has a girlfriend whom he intends to propose to. He called Sarah out of the blue one day and asked if he could have the ring. Sarah told him no. When he asked why, she told him it was because of how he has treated her all these years and how he continues to treat her. She didn’t want her family heirloom going to someone who sees her as vermin.
He Was Furious
When he asked whom it would go to, she told him it would go to Paige when she gets engaged. Upon hearing this, Jim became furious and accused Sarah of playing favorites. He continued to insult her, and Sarah eventually hung up and blocked his number. Bill was on Sarah’s side, but his maternal relatives were blowing up her phone, telling her what a jerk she was.
His Behavior Was Unacceptable
Sarah was left feeling hurt and confused. She had always tried to be a good stepmother to Jim and Paige, but Jim’s behavior towards her had been unacceptable. She felt that he didn’t deserve the family heirloom, especially since he had never shown her any respect or kindness. Sarah knew that Paige would appreciate the ring and would cherish it as a family heirloom.
The Internet Responded
This commenter posted their opinion and said, “Wait…you’re not even his biological mom, why does he need YOUR family heirloom if he hasn’t welcomed you into his family? You are giving it to YOUR oldest child I’m assuming. (Meaning the oldest child that has accepted you as family not the oldest biological child) you’re not the jerk here, he’s had plenty of time to grow up and treat you like a real person. If his maternal family is so concerned you should ask them where his mother’s family ring is.”
A Second Opinion
Another person commented and said this, “I hate when men give a woman a family heirloom then they split. The ex wife gets to keep it and now it’s not in the family anymore. Rings and etc should be passed down through the daughter. That way it stays in the family.”
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