17 Unpleasant Truths You Will Only Learn As You Get Older

As people get older, they start to realize that life is not always fair. There are many unpleasant truths that they have to come to terms with. An internet survey recently asked, “What is one ugly truth you learned as you got older?”

Here are the top 18 responses:

You Can Be Genuinely Good and Still Have People Treat You Terribly

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“Happily ever after” is very rare. In most cases where people are together, they’re not very happy, but just putting up.”

“Relationships and friendships take a lot of work, and you should be ready to let people walk away without taking it personally. Some people cannot work to meet you halfway.”

That Aspects of Your Personality Are Bad and Need to Change

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“This is true; introspection can be tough. We all have some things we need to work on changing or improving about ourselves.”

“Agreed. As a previous mentor told me, self-awareness sucks until it doesn’t.”

Your Family Really Isn’t as Perfect as You Thought 

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“It’s almost like when you move out, you just start seeing things without the rose-colored glasses.”

“I used to think my family was perfect when I was a kid. Now I understand they are so far from perfect it’s driving me crazy. I still love them so much, but they’re crazy.”

You Can’t Always Save Someone

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“This is so true and something I learned the hard way.”

“You need to accept this, or else you’ll cause yourself and others a lot of unnecessary pain. You can’t save others from themselves, and you can’t make choices for them, and you can’t live their life.”

Sometimes You’re Better Off With the Family You Choose Versus the Family You Were Born Into

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“I stepped away from my family, father, and mother, many years ago. My friends are my family now, and life is much better this way.”

“I learned this very young, and now, as I grow older, it still holds true. The definition of family varies from person to person. In my case, extended family, like my relatives, are not welcome in my life. I have lost complete respect for them as none know how to respect boundaries. I wish them well, but what they have done and continue to do is unacceptable.”

That You Don’t Always Get out What You Put Into Things

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“I have worked my butt off for dead-end jobs, made huge sacrifices for significant others and friends, and bent over backward only to be set back repeatedly. There is something to be said about working smarter, not harder, and knowing your worth. It’s something I still struggle with, and I have difficulty listening to my head instead of my heart.”

No One Really Has Any Answers

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“None of us know what we’re doing; all we’ve got is a structure or lack thereof.”

“My coworkers think I’m the most naturally organized person. I lead several teams. It’s not natural; I suffer from ADHD, and the tube can get easily lost or forgotten. It’s all about routine and writing, where you can access it quickly. It’s all a learned skill.”

Not Being Attractive Is a Hindrance as a Woman

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“And the way you’re treated is supported by society because “as a woman” it’s your fault for looking that way.”

“One of the reasons I hate getting old is that I know I will get less cooperation from others at work or anywhere else. It’s just the way this world works, I guess, but it sucks.”

Some People Will Get Very Far in Life Simply Because They Were Born With Privilege

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“This is hard. I also learned that social capital can improve chances of luck, which feels harder.”

“The quality of your life greatly depends on when, why, and how you were born and the family you ended up with. It’s really unfair. I wish people would stop talking about “working hard to get what you want” – it’s not that simple.”

You Can Consider Someone Family, Best Friend, or a Lover, and They Are a Big Part of Your Life, Yet the Feeling Is Not Reciprocal.

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“I’ve had this realization recently too. It’s hard to realize the energy and time you invested thinking it was important was only one-sided.”

“This happened to me with a couple of people I used to be friends with. I was always the one reaching out, making plans, etc. Then they’d no-show and later say, “Oops! Totally forgot! I’m so disorganized!” (Every once in a while, sure. But this happened constantly) So I stopped doing that, and they have yet to contact me. It sucks, but at least I’m not wasting my time on people who don’t value or respect it.”

Your Parents Love You Conditionally

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“A secret I learned from my therapist – all love is conditional. And that’s actually pretty freeing.”

“I get it and will stick with someone when times get hard. But there definitely are actions that they can take, including violence and other betrayals, that will make me stop loving them. Unconditional love sounds nice, but there is always a breaking point.”

You Were Supposed To Save for Retirement Since 21

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“Capitalism is the worst. The world doesn’t need to be this way.”

“Oh well. I guess I’ll be working for a long time.”

Happiness Must Always Come From Within

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“I feel like people always say this but never tell you how.”

“Become someone that makes you happy. Think of the people who give you joy, how they do that, and try to be the version of yourself you love most. Buy yourself a little treat, make a silly joke and laugh about it to yourself, and watch your favorite movie with your favorite toasty beverage. It all sounds pretty cheesy, but it worked for me.”

Patriarchy Has Taught Men To Hate Women and Women To Hate Women

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“Someone get a megaphone and blast this everywhere.”

“We have to stick together to fight it.”

It Is Possible To Commit No Mistakes and Still Lose

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“I had a fairly sheltered childhood so that reality hit me hard. Now that I’m older, I know that life isn’t fair, but it isn’t supposed to be; it’s just random. A roll of the dice. You can do everything right and fail, or you can do everything wrong, win, and everything in between. Nobody is keeping score to make sure things land where they’re “supposed” to.”

Love Is Not a Feeling It’s a Choice

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“You choose that person every day even though there are many other people you could be with. And even when you add another family, life, and work, you bring them along because you love them and want to include them. So you love them daily even after the shiny newness wears off.”

People Are Not Responsible for the Version of Them That You Create in Your Head

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“It kind of is if they misled you entirely.”

“A tough lesson for people you really care about.”

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Source: Reddit

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